Do ladies really want someone else’s husband?
It is almost the norm these days to find young single ladies who are in intimate relationships with married men. The days when it was considered a taboo and a shameful thing to do are gradually slipping away.
We’re stuck in a generation of young women who are aware that a particular man is married even with kids yet wholeheartedly go into an intimate relationship with him. Some are bold enough to pursue these men and say they prefer them.
For some, the food on someone’s plate always looks more tasty. They prefer what someone else already has. Is it because a man who is married is more experienced? Is he more desirable because another woman has already worked on him and pre-screened him while single men are still unknown commodities? Let’s not forget the purely carnal aspect. As long as it’s illicit and forbidden, there’s a different kind of hunger and curiosity for it.
Some single women have also said that a relationship with a married man gives them breathing space. You’re not accountable to him if you want to see another man or a past lover and they are always generous with money and gifts. It’s easier, less stressful and comes with loads of benefits. Plus, sneaking around has its thrills, the sex itself may be more exciting because it’s clandestine. There’s the adrenaline rush and feeling of adventure that comes with it.
There are women who crave competition. “I want what she’s having”. She feels more superior to the wife at home in terms of having the goods that the men want. Feeling superior has nothing to do with the man in question or how desirable he is, but the feeling of superiority to the other woman, boosts her self esteem. The knowledge of having another woman’s husband under control, so to say.
What if you were told that there is a scientific explanation to this phenomenon?
Yes, single ladies’ attraction and willingness to date married men has been scientifically explained. As Africans, we tend to explain everything on the grounds of religion with arguments like “she is possessed by an evil spirit”, “she needs deliverance”, and “she lacks proper home training”. While these are solid stand points that cannot be ruled out especially the third, scientists have been able to summarize this “unholy” attraction as a phenomenon called “Mate-choice copying”.
A biological process that exists across species, in which females are more attracted to males based on the endorsement of a third party. A study conducted at PLOS One found that 90 percent of single women were interested in a man who they believed was taken, while a mere 59 percent wanted him when they were told he was single.
There is a lot of evidence that mate-choice copying takes place in both sexes amongst animals, there’s preliminary evidence that the effects are more distinct in human women. A research published in the journal of human nature supports the prevailing theory among evolutionary biologists that mate-choice copying has something to do with another woman declaring a man as “safe”.
However, poaching another woman’s husband is wrong. Imagine a world where single ladies date only married men, the true essence of relationship and courtship thrown out the window. There may be a scientific explanation for it, it may seem fun and adventurous but it is still WRONG.